Happy Free Sprit Day

Wow, I’m just filled with emotion on this lovel day. It’s national coming out day. In light of all the reporting of the most recent suicides of young gay people and horrific violence levied against our gay brothers and sisters, I’m compelled to write more than would fit on a Facebook post.
First we need to look at the root of this evil and it ain’t living an authentic life. Feel free to figure it out for yourselves where this hate and despair come from.

Let’s talk about coming out.

To my friends who haven’t done so yet, get ready to see the world with a new pair of glasses. The coming out process is as different as we are. My process was a slow one. Javier’s process was pretty short and to the point. I suppose we should just acknowledge that it is a process and just leave it at that. Just understand, it is your journey and no one gets to tell you how to do it. Most importantly, it is worth it. OH, it is soooo worth it.

My journey has been something akin to a rose opening. It really began in a substantive way when I went back to college. I made a decision NOT to hide my sexuality. I didn’t boast it nor hide it. That was truly the beginning of a freeing of my spirit. I would not be ashamed. I would be true to myself and honest with the people around me. Critics could go bugger themselves. I am worthy of living my life honestly without having to be bothered with others hang ups. THAT was a very cool decision. My “coming out” improved my relationship with my higher power. I was able to cast aside the baloney. I was able to see that my higher power wasn’t some jerk who had given me some burden to bear. He or she was just fine with me and I was the one who had let the world throw up road blocks between us. Then to Europe (Western), where no one seems to care if you’re gay. That was eye opening.

Then the family, uh again, no one really cared and I don’t care IF they care.

Then work, no one cares and if they do care, I don’t care if they care.

Our sexuality is but a part of who we are. An important part, but just a part.

For those of you thinking you are ready to come out, by all means do so. Start with someone you can truly trust. Remember it is a process, so take your time and enjoy the journey. FIND SUPPORT! No one has to do it alone. It’s a very personal journey, but it’s a good idea to have support. To those who may be in a dangerous place, get out. If you have to stay and you’re in a dangerous place, it’s probably not a good idea to come out to the people who can cause you harm, physical or emotional. Plan your exit strategy, and then move when the time is right. You must keep yourself safe. If your family is going to be abusive, adopt a new family. I know it sounds crazy, but hopefully they will come around, eventually. It’s better to leave them behind than to live with abuse. Keep yourself safe is rule number one. If this means you have to duck and weave for a time, so be it. It’s an internal process, with internal and external results. So come out to yourself first. Get comfortable loving yourself while you plan your exit strategy.

Here’s the bottom line. Living an authentic, self loving, honest life is the most rewarding thing you can do, ever. If we can’t love ourselves, we cannot love those around us fully. Throwing off the burdens of fear or shame free the spirit. Not to be missed. Get your courage on and let go of the baggage.